*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
fasterfood: why the hell do babies cry after they shit themselves like u got urself into this mess buddy dont make it everyone else’s problem. like have some fuckin responsibility for once
Me in class
Teacher: Sun is the hottest thing in the universe.
Me: Umm excuse me i'm still here.
amaeza: untruc: amaeza: you know, i’m a raging lesbian and i was never distracted by what other girls in my classes were wearing in high school. this is a male problem, not an “attracted to women” problem. This is an “inability to respect women” problem. Which is a male problem.
Gangnam style has 999,901,298 views The video is 4:13 min long Thats a total of about 4,249,580,516.5 viewing minutes or about 71,020,258 hours or about 2,959,177 days or about 8,102 years Civilization emerged about 5,000 years ago, to put that in perspective.
Alt + Ctlr + reblog sign(double click) = boom!
moves-like1d: theshadowwalkingnobody: natsu-salamander-dragneel: I love it when Tumblr folk find new ways to explore this wonderful site lol. wtf did I just do? Holy fuck that’s amazing!! O.O i don’t… i don’t know what happened.
trillow: “i need to get something off my chest” yeah it’s your shirt let me help you with that
Why is it that the “sign up” buttons are always more noticeable than the actual ”sign in” ones?
mostlytumbler: jiraiyaa: do you ever just look at an animal and just laugh? yes